There is not a day when I don't ask myself,"Why am I at CCH?" But every time I do my mind begins to roll back to those dark yet beautiful days of my life while living in Riverside. I can still remember trying so hard to stop my house from being taken away while directing and acting in my first film at my community college.
Loosing my house and not being able to finish my film project hurt, but not as much as loosing my kids on my wrestling team. I try not to coach other teams because I'm always reminded of them and that sends a sharp pain in my heart. I miss their smiles. I miss them running up to me giving me hugs and telling me that they love me. I miss college and my old friends. I lost everyone and everything in that vile year, 2008.
As for my sign, I never believed in that kind of stuff until I sat down and read about it. Yes, some of it is very general, but most of it was true for me. As I kept reading everything became clear. I saw my life flash before me over and over. I saw all my struggles and my triumphs from childhood to now. I saw the people I should have said, "I love you." to but let go in the end. I learned that I am a healer and an adventurer (I already knew this, but I was reassured).
Now I'm here at a school that I really had no choice but to come to in some ways, but I go on because of my past. Some say to let go of the past. My past is where I draw my strength. The scars are deep and they still hurt, but that's why I'm here. That's why I go on. I can....I will make it.
